Fear of a Happy Face
by Devil of My Family
Summary: Sam's fear of clowns becomes a serious thing while on a hunt. So serious that it might just put Dean in danger. Preseries, complete
1. Chapter 1

**Fear of a Happy Face**

**Summary: **Sam's fear of clowns becomes a serious thing while on a hunt. So serious that it might just cause him his life. Preseries.

**AN: **I was asked to continue my oneshot _(Where Do Nightmares Come From?) _by couple of people so I thought that well, maybe I should. You don't have to read it to understand this story but it wouldn't hurt either... :D Anyway, I hope you like this story, I'm gonna make it as long as I can without making it boring. And off to the story.

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, not even the Impala is mine.

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**Chapter one**

_"Dean! Dean, guess what?" seven year old Sam yelled as soon as he came through the door. His face was glowing with __excitement_ _as Dean appeared from the kitchen. _

_"What? And come on, your dinner is getting cold", the eleven year old said. Sam followed him back to the kitchen, getting off his jacket and shoes._

_"Mrs.Taylor, Matt's mom, told that she is taking Matt to the circus that is coming to the town tomorrow. Matt asked me if I wanted to go with him. Can I go, Dean? Please!!" Dean looked at his brother's pleading face. He knew that if John was home he would never let Sam go. But as Dean was left responsible, he found it impossible to deny Sam this joy. _

_"Sure, buddy. Will mrs.Taylor be picking you up?" Dean asked. Sam nodded, moth full of food._

_"I'm suppose to tell tomorrow at school am I allowed to go", Sam explained. Then the smile that had been covering his face this whole time dropped from his face. "Do I have to call Dad and ask him?" He knew as well as Dean what John would think about this. _

_"Nah, I don't think so..." Dean said. _Man, I'm gonna be in so much trouble if he comes home tomorrow..._ "I mean, it's only for few hours, you have an adult with you and besides, what could **possible** happen in a circus?"_

_--_

_Dean heard the doorbell ringing. He sighed. He was watching Godzilla, something that he couldn't watch when Sam was around and now someone dared to diturb him. Groaning he went to the door when the doorbell rang again. _

_"Sammy...?" As soon as Dean opened the door, Sam flew to his arms, putting his arms around his weist so tightly that Dean had trouble breathing. Mrs. Taylor was standing on the porch._

_"I'm sorry, I thought it was for the best that I brought him home."_

_"Why?" Dean asked, confused. He put his arms around the little boy, looking at mrs.Taylor for explanation. _

_"We were buying popcorn when I suddenly realized he was missing..."_

_"Missing?!"_

_"But we found him not more that ten minutes after that. He was scared to death of something and kept saying that he didn't want to play anymore. I'm really sorry, but there was a lot of people there, he just vanished from our side."_

_Dean nodded, tightening his hold of Sam. "Thank you..." he said quietly. Mrs.Taylor smiled a little and left as Dean closed the door. He lead his brother to the couch and sat next to him. "Sammy? Hey, what happened?" _

_"It was so scary..." Sam whispered. He was wiping tears from his pale face with one hand, the other still holding on to Dean's shirt. _

_"What was, Sammy? What was scary?"_

--

13 year old Sam should have known that his weekend would be ruined as soon as he heard Dean talking to the phone on the sunny Saturday morning. He tried to ignore it, tried to convince himself that it was just a salesman or something as he went to kitchen to get some breakfast. He found a box of Lucky Charms Dean had bought yesterday and sat down to eat. _Let it be a salesman, let it be a salesman, let it be a salesman..._

"Yes, sir", came from the living room and Sam had to put all his willpower to work so he wouldn't throw his plate to the wall. He kept eating, chewing so hard he didn't hear the rest of the conversation. He didn't look up when Dean came to the kitchen with a bag on his shoulder.

"We're leaving in fifteen minutes", he said.

"Where?" Sam asked, still not looking up.

"Chicago. Dad needs our help on a hunt", Dean answered, getting a handful of Lucky Charms and eating them straight from the box.

"He said he wouldn't need our help", Sam said, unable to hide the bitterness in his voice.

"Yeah, I know. But it turned out to be harder than he had thought. He needs someone to the audience, to see if the spirit tries to attack during a show", Dean said, taking another handful of Lucky Charms.

"Huh? Dad's looking for spirit in a movie theater or something?" Sam asked.

"No, a circus, I thought he told you..."

The spoon Sam was holding fell from his hand as he turned his wide eyes to Dean. "A... a circus?"

"Yeah. Why?" Dean asked but then realisation hit him. "Aw, come on, clowns smile and they have a red nose and the walk around in ridiculous costumes, what's so scary about them?" he asked. Sam mumbled something unaudible, picking up his spoon and finishing his breakfats.

"I'll go pack..." he said quietly, almost running away from the kitchen. Once he was in his room, he slammed the door shut and slid down agains it. He was angry. He was angry at his father for ruining his weekend, he was angry at Dean for not trying to get out of it, he was angry at himself for being such a baby. Dean was right, clowns were absolutely nothing to be scared about! There were incarnations of happiness, how could Sam even _think _they could hurt anyone?

Sam almost jumped when he heard his brother knocking on the door. "You done yet?"

"Uh... no, not yet. Hold on..." Sam yelled back, got his bag, threw few clothes in it and came out. "Now I'm done. We can go." Dean eyed his little brother for a long moment until Sam got annoyed. "What?" he asked.

"Nothing. Now come on, it's at least a five hour drive."

--

_"Do you want some popcorn, Sam?" mrs.Taylor asked. _

_"Yes, please", Sam answered, though he was looking around the circus area, not really paying attention. The laughter in the air, the smell of candy and salty popcorns and the atmosphears made Sam sigh in satisfaction. He only wished that Dean could be there to share it. _

_"Come play with me..."_

_"Huh...?" Sam turned to look at Matt who was standing next to him. He was talking to his mom, trying to make her buy extra-big popcorns for him and Sam to share. _

_"Come play with me..."_

_Someone took Sam's hand. Sam didn't even stop to quetion it, he just went along. He didn't see who was holding his hand, but he wanted to play. Maybe this was a game..._

_"Come play with me..."_

_"Why are we going so far?" Sam suddenly asked, noticing that the invisible person had taken him behind the circus tent. "Who are you? Are other children gonna come play, too? Can we get my brother to play with us?" Sam asked, completely unaware of any danger. _

_"I only wanna play with you..."_

_"Yeah, but if we're gonna play games like hide and seek it would be more fun if we had more people, right? We should ask Matt and Dean to play with us, too."_

_"We're not gonna play hide and seek."_

_Sam stopped. No one was holding his hand anymore. "Hello?" Sam heard steps. "Are we gonna play or not?"_

_"Oh, Sammy. We're gonna play..." Someone took a hold of Sam's shoulder and turned him around. A person with big smile, red nose and ridiculous costume was standing behind Sam, holding something that looked quite a lot like a knife. _

--

Sam shot up, just managing to stop a scream. It took a moment for him to realize that he was sitting in a car.

"You okay?" Now Sam screamed. He looked around and saw Dean behind the wheel. The older boy looked from the road to his brother, complete confusion written on his face. "What the hell, Sam? Do I look like a spirit to you?"

Sam put a hand on his face. He took a deep breath to calm himself down and the mumbled a 'sorry'. "Where are we?" he asked.

"About an hour away from Chicago. Dad told us to check into a motel near the circus. He'll meet us there as soon as possible", Dean said, still stealing glances at Sam.

"As soon as possible? Why isn't he there?" Sam asked.

"Well, you know, to fit in, Dad took a job at the circus", Dean explained.

"Dad took a job there? Geez, I can just a imagine the uniform he's wearing", Sam laughed.

"Well, smartass, won't be that funny when I tell you that he's a clown, huh?" Sam's smile faded.

"You're kidding, right?" he said, angry at the obvious shake in his voice.

"Of course I am, do you really think Dad would fit into the role of the happiest person in the world?" Dean said. He heard Sam letting out a sigh as he looked at road ahead of them.

"Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"You're not gonna... tell Dad about..." Sam let the ending hang in the air between them.

"About what? Your little fobia? Nah, I'll just let him find out himself when you run away crying if one of those things comes too near", Dean said, rolling his eyes, making sure Sam knew how stupid he thought this fear was.

"Thanks", Sam said anyway. He looked out of the window, getting more nervous at each sign that told him they were getting closer to Chicago. _Suck it up, you wuss! _Sam turned his head towards his brother to say something, anything, that would convince the older that he was gonna be fine when he saw someone standing in the middle of the road.

"Dean, LOOK OUT!"

The Impala took a sharp turn to the left as Sam grabbed the steering wheel. He heard Dean yelling 'Jesus Christ!' just before everything turned black.

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**AN: **I won't say TBC. I will only continue if I get reviews. I promise, this will get more exciting, interesting and maybe even angsty as/if the story continues.

Make my day!

Lots of Love!


	2. Chapter 2

**Fear if a Happy Face**

**AN: **Okay, so you guys are incredible! Thank you so much!

I got couple of questions about the summaries. I had originally thought that I would make two little stories, one to be published, one just for me for fun. But then I realised that I will never have the time so I just decided to make one longer story but forgot to change the chapter intro before I posted it. So the summary in the beginning of the first chapter is the **wrong **one. But, as I already told some people, I said it will become more interesting, who knows what will happen?

I hope that everyone will keep on reading despite of my mistake, I mean, you did click to read the first chapter after reading the right summary... Right...: )

Anyway, you got me way over my record of reviews for the first chapter, so I am most definately gonna continue. Keep reviewing, so I'll know am I doing better.

**Warning: **Uh... language in some chapters, maybe...

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Supernatural

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**Chapter two**

"Sam! Sammy, wake up!"

"What...?" Sam opened his eyes slowly. For couple of seconds all he saw was trees before someone took a hold of his shoulder and turned him to look at the driver's side.

"You with me, Sammy?"

"Uh-huh..." Sam nodded but quickly stopped as it caused his head to hurt. "What happened?" he asked rubbing the back of his head.

"What happened? Well, let's see, you scream to look out for something, grab the freaking steering wheel and send us flying off the road. Ring any bells?" Dean said, his angry voice mixed with worry. "You hit your head quite hard, you okay?"

"Yeah... yeah, I'm fine... Did we hit him?"

"Hit who?"

"The person on the road. Did we hit him, where is he? Sam asked.

"Yeah, well... that's the most confusing part here: there was no one on the road. You screamed me to look out for air", Dean said.

"But... but there was someone, how could you have not seen him? He had a yellow suit and colourful hair, he was quite hard to miss!" Sam said.

"And I still didn't see him. You sure you okay?" Dean asked.

"I'm fine, Dean! I did not just see things, there _was_ someone on the road!" Sam replied. As I way to proof himself right, he opened the door and got out of the car.

"Sam? Sam what the hell are you doing?" Dean yelled as he got out, too.

"I'm gonna show you that I'm not crazy!" Sam said.

"I never said you were crazy! _This _is crazy, we have to find someone to help us to get the car back to the road", Dean said annoyed, following his brother, nonetheless. Sam didn't listen to him. He went to the road and looked right and left. There was absolutely no sign of anyone else being near. No body lying on the road, not even blood. Sam looked around, trying to find even some evidence of a yellow suited man.

"But..." he said as he didn't find anything. "But there was someone, I swear, Dean! Please, Dean, you have to believe me, please!" Dean, who was now standing right next to Sam, fought in his head. His little brother _had_ hit his head quite hard, he _had_ just had a nightmare before yelling 'look out...' But in the other hand he seemed very sure of what he had seen and it wouldn't be the first time in the Winchester family that only one of them saw something.

Finally, realising he couldn't just ignore this, Dean sighed. "Fine, Sam. You saw something, I believe you. But that something is not here right now, right? So we really gotta find someone to help us..."

"You boys need a hand?" The brothers turned to look at the voice and saw an middle aged man with a tractor.

--

_Sam looked at the knife and slowly the panic began to take a hold of him. This wasn't a nice game anymore. He wanted to go home. _

_"Come play with me, Sammy", the clown said again._

_"I... I don't want to anymore. I wanna go home..." Sam whispered. "And how do you know my name?" The smile on the clown's face dropped a little but he quickly recovered._

_"Oh, but it will be fun, trust me. I'm not gonna hurt you", he said, dismissing Sam's question._

_"Then why do you have a knife?" Sam asked, pointing at the sharp object. The clown looked at it and then turned his smiling face at Sam again._

_"You have seen knives before, haven't you?" Sam nodded. "You know what they're being used for?"_

_"Killing..." Sam said in a little voice, trying to get away from the scary man. The clown, however, had other plans. It took Sam's arm into a firm grip and brought the child right in front of his face. _

_"You are wise, little Sammy. But do you know who I'm gonna kill tonight?" Sam shook his head, though he was quite sure of the answer. "Neither do I. You get to choose and help me kill him", the clown said. "And then we're gonna be together forever."_

--

"So you said this dude who was standing on the road had a yellow suit and a colourful hair", Dean said. They had got back on the road by the help of the man who had introduced himself as Fred. The car got few scratches on it but nothing Dean wouldn't be able fix with a little paint and vax.

"Yeah."

"Do you think it could have something to do with Dad's hunt? I mean, sounds a like a circus person to me", Dean said.

"That's cuz you have never come across with someone totally normal who dresses like that", Sam said, though he knew Dean was probably right. His hands were sweatting a little and he tried to dry them to his jeans. _Quit being such a baby! _"Uh... Dean? Were you hurt? In the... crash?" Sam asked, as the thought hit his mind.

"Nah, got couple of bruises, that's all", Dean answered, not turning his eyes off the road. "Guess I was lucky..."

"I'm sorry, I'll help you paint the car..."

Dean chuckled and turned to look at Sam. "Yeah, right. Like I would _ever _let you touch my car", he said.

"You know, Dad said that when I get my license it's gonna be my car, too", Sam pointed out.

"Yeah, well. There's still three years to it. Oh, and by the way, in your dreams!" Dean replied, laughing a little. "It's okay, Sam", he then said, knowing that Sam wouldn't believe it 'til he heard it. "Welcome to Chicago!"

Sam turned his head just in time to see the sign that told them they had arrived to Chicago. He dried his hands even harder. He closed his eyes, trying to block the upcoming hunt from his mind for a while.

"Dad's gonna ask about the scratches. We should tell him about the man..."

"Why?" Sam asked right away.

"Well, if it's conneceted to his hunt, he should know about it", Dean answered matter in factly.

"Yeah, but..."

"Don't worry, I'll keep my mouth shut. You tell him what you please", Dean said.

"Can't we just blame the icy road or something...?" Sam suggested.

"Dude, it's May", Dean pointed out. "Sam, you don't have to tell him about the fact that you can't go to Mc'Donalds cuz you're afraid of Ronald Mc'Donald. Just tell him you saw a dude in a yellow suit and it might have something to do with the circus hunt. Maybe it was the spirit from there."

"How could it have come this far from the circus?" Sam asked. Dean shrugged.

"Maybe it's not a traditional spirit. Or something like that."

--

Finding a motel near the circus proofed to be quite easy. Dean parked the car and left Sam to unload the car as he went to the reception. A cute girl sat bahind the desk and smiled as Dean came in.

"Checking in?"

"Yeah, room for three", Dean said and gave the girl his fake credit car.

"May I see your ID?" Dean looked at the girl with raised eyebrows. "I'm not aloud to let under 18 year olds to check in by themselves", the girl explained.

"Oh, right, of course, here you go", Dean said. He flashed his fake driver's license that had a one number difference than his right one. _"So it's not tha big of a lie, just one number!" _Dean had said to Sam when he had used it for the first time.

"How many nights are you gonna be staying?" the girl asked, putting Dean's name down.

"Uh... two at least. Might be longer..." Dean answered.

"Okay. Come and pay for more if you have to. Here's your keys, room eight. Enjoy your stay!"

"Sertainly." Dean flashed a smile to the girl as he stepped out.

"You got a room?" Sam asked, holding his own bag.

"No, but I bought us a tent. Of course I got a room!" Dean said. "Come on." Dean picked up his own bag and went to the room eight. When he unlocked the door he was immediately welcomed with a smell of fresh flowers. "What the...?"

Sam peeked under Dean's arms as Dean had stopped dead in the door way. The whole room was painted with different shades of yellow and red and the smell of flowers was undinyable. "We've stayed at worst places than this", he said.

"Have we?"

"At least it's not pink", Sam said as he pushed pass Dean. He dropped his bag onto the bed next to the wall, falling on it himself. "It's comfortable, you should try..."

_"You didn't choose, Sam..."_

"What?"

"What what?" Dean, who had made his way to the bed next to Sam's asked.

"I didn't choose what?" Sam asked back.

"Huh?"

_"You didn't choose, Sam..."_

"I didn't choose what?!" Sam yelled.

"Sam, what the hell are you talking about? I haven't said anything!" Dean said, getting confused.

"But who then...?"

_"You didn't choose, Sam..."_

TBC

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**AN: **Once again, thanks for the reviews! I hope you'll have time to send me more. :D Angst coming up for those who like it, I swear!

Lots of Love!


	3. Chapter 3

**Fear of a Happy Face**

**AN: **At this point I have to warn you that it might sometimes take long for me to update. I have a LOT going on. So after this chapter I might be able to upload one or two chapters, then there's gonna be almost two weeks break. I am sorry for this, but I'm leaving town for a week and before that I have to prepare for leaving town for a week. Nice, huh?

Anyway, when I come back I swear I'm gonna make a great chapter for all of ya!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Supernatural

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**Chapter three**

_Sam watched the man, not really understanding what he was saying. "I wanna go home! I want my brother!"_

"_You brother isn't here and he's not going to help you!" the clown yelled, getting really annoyed. "I want you to simply, pick up a nice little boy or a girl like yourself for me to kill. And you get to help me. That's gonna be a fun game, I swear. And then you can live here at the circus and play with me every day, doesn't that sound fun?" _

"_No! I wanna go home!" Sam yelled. What would Dean and Dad think if he killed someone? No, no, NO! _

"_Sam? Sam, where are you?" Both Sam and the clown turned to look at the voice. _

"_This isn't over, Sammy."_

--

"Oh my God..." Sam whispered.

"What? Sam, what the hell is going on?" Dean asked.

"I don't know..."

"Like hell you don't, Sam! Is there someone talking to you or something, what? Start talking!"

"Did... Did Dad say who the clown has killed?" Sam asked.

"The clown? Sam, it's a spirit! Where did you get the idea that it was a clown?" Dean asked.

"Because I _know_ it's a clown, Dean!" Sam answered. "Did Dad tell who it has killed?"

"Uh... he didn't tell any names, just that they were all under twelve... Why do you... Sam? What's wrong?"

Sam had sat on his bed, holding his stomach as if he was about to throw up. "It came back... Oh, God, it came back..." he said.

"What came back? Sam, talk to me, you're not making any sense!" Dean kneeled in front of his brother, trying to make him look at him. Sam breathing was way too uneven and shallow for his liking. "Hey, hey, calm down, okay? It's gonna be okay, just tell me what you know."

"I didn't think he'd come back! I swear, Dean... If I would've known I would have killed it or... or told you and Dad about it... Now it's killing again, he's killing children, it's making kids kill children!" Sam yelled. At this point his voice was shaking so hard Dean had trouble making any sense out of it.

"How do you know all this?" he asked. Sam bit his lower lip, looking away from Dean. Dean, however, was not having any of it. He put his hand on Sam face, forcing him to face him. "Sammy? How do you know all this?"

"I... I..." Sam closed his eyes, not wanting to talk. He really thought he was gonna puke.

"You, you...? You what? Have you seen him? When, where? The guy standing on the road, was it the same one?" Dean asked.

"He wanted me to kill, too... He told me it was a game... I didn't wanna play..."

Dean was getting really confused. "What do you mean, he told you it was a game? How did he even get a chance to talk to you, when did this all... Oh My God..." Dean's eyes widened. "The time that you went to the circus... You came home early... Something scared you..."

Sam took a shaky breath. He had honestly thought he would never have to think about it again. Never. He had thought that if he just stayed away from theme parks and carnivals he would never have to face another clown.

"Why didn't you tell me or Dad, Sammy?" Dean asked, pulling Sam away from his thoughts.

"I didn't want to you think I was a baby..." Sam answered honestly.

"Sam, you were seven!" Dean said loudly. "When someone comes to you and tells you that you have to kill someone, you tell us about it!"

"I was just so scared, Dean..."

--

"_What was, Sam? What was scary?" _

_The little boy in Dean's arms just curled up into a even tighter ball. "I don't want to live in a circus..." he said so quietly that Dean hardly heard him._

"_What're you talking about, Sammy? You don't have to live in a circus. Unless you wanna become a clown..." At this, Sam pulled away from Dean, getting off the couch._

"_No! I don't want to become a clown! I don't want to live in circus, I don't want to play!" he screamed, his face red._

"_Okay, Sammy! It was a joke. You don't have to become a clown. Tell you the truth, I don't even like clowns", Dean said. _

"_You don't?" _

"_No. They're weird. I mean, who can be that happy all the time?" _

"_I don't like them either..." Sam mumbled._

"_I got that much. Now, I think it's time that you go to bed."_

--

"Is it gonna kill more people, Dean?" Sam asked. Dean looked at him, not sure what he was suppose to say.

"Not if I can help it", he finally said.

"It's my fault. I didn't stop him... I should have told you!"

"Sam, you were a kid. Kids are allowed to make mistakes. And if you ask me, this wasn't even a mistake."

"But Dean, it has hurt people! And I know all about it..."

"Sam, you didn't know it was this spirit Dad was hunting! You were seven and scared and like you said, you didn't know it was gonna come back! This isn't your fault, okay?" Dean said.

"Dean, it kills children! Children!" Sam yelled.

"I know but it doesn't make this any more your fault!" Dean yelled back.

"The hell it doesn't!" Sam said, getting up from the bed. "I may have been seven but I know about this stuff, I knew I should tell you if something like this happens, I knew! And still I kept my mouth shut just because I was so freaking scared! So don't tell me this isn't my fault, if I would have said something, Dad could have killed it and it wouldn't had have the chance to kill anyone else!"

"_You have to choose, Sammy..."_

"I'm NOT gonna choose!!!"

"Whoa, hey, Sam!" Dean took a hold of Sam's arms, firmly but making sure he didn't hurt Sam. "You have to calm down. Losing it now is not gonna help anyone. Yes, kids have died but if you can keep it together and help us then no one else is gonna die. Okay?"

"But..."

"No, Sam. Not your fault."

"_You have to choose, Sam."_

"He wants me to choose", Sam said.

"What?"

"Last time... last time I didn't choose, Mrs. Taylor found me so it didn't have time to make me. Now it wants me to choose..."

"It wants you to choose... what?"

"The child I'm suppose to help him kill..." Sam said quietly.

"Oh... nice..."

"Tell me about..." Suddenly jerked back on his bed. He was breathing so fast Dean was afraid he would pass out.

"What now, Sam?"

"He's here, Dean..."

"Who's here?" Dean asked.

"The guy from the road... It's the same clown, Dean... It's the same clown!"

"Where is it?" Dean asked, looking around. He saw no one, which annoyed the shit out of him.

"He's there, right in front of the door!" Sam said.

"_You have to choose."_

"I don't want to choose, I don't want to kill anyone", Sam said.

"_You **have **to choose, Sam. You can't run from this, you can't run from **me**!"_

As the clown closed the gap between himself and Sam, Sam threw himself off the bed and ran to the door. And before Dean knew it, Sam was running as fast as he could away from the motel.

"SAM!" Without a second thought Dean ran after him. _Jesus, he's fast! _"Sam, stop!"

Sam stopped as if he had hit a wall. He was standing on a wooden bridge that looked like it could fall to the river under it any minute. Dean caught up with him, breathing hard after the run.

"When did you... become so fast?" he asked.

"He wants me to choose, Dean!" Sam said, without bothering to answer.

"I get that, Sam. We're gonna figure it out, okay?"

"But what if we can't? What if he just keeps killing kids? What if..."

"_Are you gonna choose, Sam?" _The clown just appeared in front of Sam, his face ten inches from Sam's.

"No, I'm not!" Sam said, backing away. "Leave me alone!"

"He's here again? Where?" Dean asked. Sam didn't answer him.

"_So you're not gonna choose?" _

"No."

"_Fine."_

Dean felt as if a horse kicked him to his stomach. He stumbled against the against the fence of the bridge and as the fate would have it, it broke.

"DEAN!!!" Sam tried to get a hold of his brother but the clown blocked his way.

"_You didn't choose." _

Sam heard his brother's yelp and after few seconds he heard a splash that made his stomach turn up side down.

"_You should have chosen, Sam."_

TBC

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**AN: **Dear God, I'm evil... Well, you can yell at me if you review, I swear, I'll take it like a man... which I'm not, but you know what I mean...

Thank you already!

Lots of Love!


	4. Chapter 4

**Fear of a Happy Face**

**AN: **Okay, so this is the last chapter I'll be able to write for the next week and a half. I wish I could write sooner, I really do! But girl's gotta do what girl's gotta do I guess. :D

You guys have been great, you make my day over and over again. The sun has been shining since I started to write this and I thank _you_ for that!

**Warnings: **Language

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Supernatural

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**Chapter four**

"DEAN!!"

"Oh, would you stop screaming, he's dead!" the clown said. "You've got only yourself to blame, you just wouldn't choose."

"He is NOT dead!" Sam yelled. He was watching desperately down to the river but got absolutely no sign of his brother. "He's not dead, he can't be dead..." It didn't make any sense! His big brother, the hero, probably the closest human being to Superman, could **not **just die by falling to a river. No, it was not possible. Suddenly all the anger and fear Sam was feeling came to the surface and he lunged himself at the clown. "You son a BITCH!"

Sam never got anything to collide to, as the clown disappeared. Sam fell hard on the wooden bridge but he didn't bother to get back up. He made his hands into fists and let the tears fall. It would not be a little miracle if Dean was alive. Sam hadn't seen him come back up and he could swear he had been looking for at least two minutes. This could not be happening...

It was NOT happening. Sam didn't know, Sam didn't actually even care, if the clown would just follow him, he was gonna find his brother. With that thought in his mind, Sam got up and made his way to the riverside. It was hard, the edge was muddy and slippery and there was not much to grab onto. When he finally got something solid enough under his feet, he started running.

After ten minutes of running by the river, Sam had to stop. His heart beat was fast and breathing labored. His father had made him run miles but never this fast and never scared to death at the same time. Sam had to admit his defeat and slowered his run. There was no sign of Dean in the water. How far could he have gone? But if he wasn't above the surface the he had to be...

--

_"Dean? Dean!" _

_"Mmm..."_

_"Dean!"_

_"What, Sam?" Dean asked, annoyed as hell. He hated being woken up from a good dream, even by his dad or Sam. It was just not right. "What do you want, you should be in bed", he said. _

_"Can I...? Can I sleep next to you?" Sam asked. Dean groaned._

_"I thought you wanted to stop coming to me after a bad dream. Be a big boy", he said._

_"I didn't have a bad dream..." Sam said quietly._

_"So why'd you wanna sleep next to me?"_

_"I'm scared, Dean..." Sam whispered. He lowered his head as if he was ashamed when Dean turned his full attention to him._

_"What're you scared of, Sammy?" he asked, a little alarmed._

_"He wants me", Sam said, alarming Dean even more._

_"Who wants you?" _

_"The... the..." Sam sniffed loudly and wiped his nose to his sleeve._

_"The what? Sammy?"_

_"Can I sleep next to you?" Sam asked again, looking at Dean. Dean sighed, realising his baby brother was really freaked out. The way he stood, the way his eyes shined... _

_"You better not kick me." Sam smiled as Dean made him space in the bed. He climbed onto it and got under the covers. "Nothing's _gonna_ get you, Sammy." Sam turned to look at Dean, who looked back with a confident smile. "Not on my watch." Sam smiled even wider, feeling the fear slowly leave him. He got as comfortable as he could on the small bed, taking a hold of Dean's arm as a teddy bear. Dean shook his head but didn't pull his arm away. "You're safe with me."_

--

Dean lied on the mud, hoping more than ever that he had a pillow and a blanket. He was cold, every part of him was sore and he was exhausted. The seven minutes he had spent in the river felt like an hour to Dean. The oxygen had had hard time getting into his lungs as his mouth and nose were filled by water. But as much Dean liked breathing and would appreciate a soft bed, more than anything he would like to know that Sam was alright.

"Dean!!" Dean closed his eyes with a little smile. Next stop: shower. "Dean?" Dean heard Sam's fearful voice and opened his eyes.

"Hey." Sam sigh of relief was audible.

"I thought you..."

"Nah, takes more than a stupid clown spirit to kill me", Dean said, sitting up. When he saw Sam's eyes were still filled with tears and his face was a picture of panic, he stood up. "See? I'm fine." Without a warning Sam pushed him back to the ground. "What the fuck, Sam? What the hell was that for?" Dean asked.

"Felt like it..." Sam said. He fell on his knees to the ground, helping Dean sit up. "I really thought you were... You didn't come back up..."

"Yeah, it took a while, but hey... I'm fine. Really, I am."

"But..."

"Not a scratch, Sammy." Sam took a deep, shaky breath and was about to fall on his face to the mud when he felt Dean catching him. "Are _you _okay?"

"You scared me, Dean", Sam said quietly as put his forehead on Dean's shoulder. He knew he was too old to be hugged by Dean, those days were far gone. That's why he so surprised when he felt Dean's arms around him.

"Yeah, well... you ain't getting rid of me that easily."

TBC

oOOOOOoOOOOOo

**AN: **It's short, yes, but all I can do right now. I felt so bad about the cliff hanger, I thought I'd give you all a peace of mind before I leave. But I'm leaving in two days for a week and I won't have time to write before that... Sorry... : (

Tell me what ya think, and I promise I'll come up with lots of chapters while I'm gone. Deal?

Lots of Love!


	5. Chapter 5

**Fear of a Happy Face**

**AN: **I am TIRED!!! And still, here I am, writing. I hope you give me a lot of reviews for this. Don't roll your eyes. You try to look after 24 fourteen year olds for a week and tell me are you tired or not. But anyway, I am BACK and that's what matters.

**Warnings: **Language

**Disclaimer: **Supernatural does not belong to me.

oOOOOOoOOOOOo

**Chapter five**

Sam wouldn't have mind to hold on to Dean's arm on their way back to the motel but he thought he had got as much brotherly love from Dean as Dean could possibly give. At least for a while. So he settled to walk as close as he could. He hadn't said anything after the hug. He was still in a slight shock and even if he knew Dean was physically exhausted he was more than sure he needed sleep as much as Dean did.

"So, Sammy... Any ideas of how to get rid of this spirit?" Dean suddenly asked.

"No... not really... why?"

"Just asked. I thought you'd wanna get rid of as fast as possible and had made all kinds of plans already", Dean explained.

"I do wanna get rid of it. But we don't even know if it's tied a cursed object or are the bones somewhere in the circus", Sam said.

"Ugh, that would be nasty", Dean said. "Well, I guess we have to wait for Dad and tell him what we know..."

Sam stopped. "What?"

"What? You know we have to tell Dad what we know! And he is gonna ask how exactly do we know about this. You wanna lie to him? Might just make things worse", Dean reasoned himself.

"But... Dean, he's gonna be so mad at me, you know that! He's gonna ask me why I didn't tell you and if I tell him I was scared I'm gonna have some kind of lecture of knowing better... And I don't want him to think that I'm a wuss..."

Dean sighed. "Sam, I really _really _think that in this case, you have a right to be scared of clowns. And it's not like me and Dad are scared of nothing." Dean realized his mistake ten seconds after he had done it. Sam look honestly surprised by Dean's little confession. He had never heard Dean admitting he would be scared of anything. So he had to take this chance to find out.

"What're you afraid of?" he asked.

"You've asked me that a lot of times and not once have I given you an answer. What makes you think you're gonna get one now?" Dean asked, motioning Sam to get moving again.

"Everyone's scared of something. It's only natural", Sam pointed out as the motel came into view.

"Yeah, well, our lives are not that natural", Dean said. He sighed. Sam knew he was never gonna tell him, why why why did he have to ask?

Sam had noticed Dean's sigh and kept his mouth shut 'til they reached the motel room. "You wanna take a shower?" he asked once they were in.

"No, Sam, I wanna stay the way I am. Cold, numb, smelly and wet", Dean answered as he took his shirt off. Sam smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. He fell on his bed when the bathroom door closed. He knew for a fact there was not gonna be any hot water left for him.

Sam didn't know had he fallen asleep or something, but if he had the sound of opening door woke him up. He blinked few times and the saw a familiar figure in front of him. "Dad?"

"Hey, Sam. Anything happened?" John asked as he put his bag on one of the beds.

"No, not..." Sam started but stopped when he heard a sound coming from the bathroom door. Dean was leaning to the door frame, looking at Sam with raised eyebrows.

"You wanna tell Dad the truth?" he asked. John turned to look at his youngest, too.

"Yeah, you wanna tell me the truth?"

If eyes could kill, Dean would be so dead by the look that Sam sent him. He was so not ready to do this. It was not suppose to be this hard, was it? This was his dad! Sam looked at Dean once more and then took a deep breath. "The spirit is a clown..." he said quietly.

"How would you know?" John asked, surprised.

"I've seen it before. When I was seven..." Sam answered, looking down.

"Where would you see a clown?" John asked.

"In a circus. My friend's mom had bough tickets and asked me to come along..."

"Wait, wait, wait! When was this?" John asked, now turning to look at Dean.

"I already told you, almost six years ago..." Sam started but John cut him off again.

"Then where was this?" John asked, still looking at Dean who just shrugged.

"I don't remember. I didn't even remember the whole thing 'til Sam told me what happened there today", he said.

"What happened there then?" John asked, turning back to Sam. Sam bit his lower lip. Somehow he felt like not only him was gonna be in trouble.

"Well, I kinda disappeared from my friend's mom. The spirit, the clown, asked me to choose a child to kill and then help him do it. I never did!" Sam almost yelled when John opened his mouth. "But now he's back and wants me to do it! And because I don't want to he..." Sam's talk was interrupted by a short sob. He tried to cover it with a cough but neither Dean or John missed it.

"He what? Sam?"

"I think he... I mean, he almost..." _Don't break, don't you dare break! _

"He kinda pushed me off the bridge to the river", Dean ended the sentence for Sam. "He really wants Sam to choose", he continued.

"You okay?" John asked, worried.

"Yeah, fine. As I have told Sam a couple of times, too", Dean answered, nodding his head at his little brother.

"Well, Sam could tell _me _why he didn't tell six years ago", John said. He looked at Sam who hugged his knees to his chest and mumbled something. "Didn't catch that."

"IwassacredandIthoughtitdidntmatter..."

"Could I have that in English, please?" John said, frustrated.

"He was scared, Dad. He was seven", Dean said. Both John and Sam looked at him, John angry, Sam surprised.

"Scared or not, he knew better. You don't keep these kind of things from your family, specially when you know what's out there. And why did you even let him go?" John asked. Now it was Dean's turn to look surprised. He had not seen this coming.

"I don't know. I guess I wanted him to have a good time..."

"I you didn't go with him, why?" John asked.

"He was with an adult! How was I suppose to know there was a spirit there who wanted him to kill someone!" Dean said.

"I'm still here", Sam said, feeling as if the other two had forgot that.

"I'm dealing with you later. Dean, you were suppose to..."

"Dad! Whether I wold you or not, the spirit is killing children! We have to stop it, can we have this conversation after that?" Sam said suddenly. He had stood up and looked from Dean to John, more than ready to fix his mistake. Mistake that his dad was not gonna let him forget that easily.

"We wouldn't be having this conversation if you would have told us in the first place!" John said.

"I know that, Dad! I really do, but could we just...?"

"And you clearly know that children are now dead."

"I..." Sam couldn't get anything else out of his mouth. He did know it but hearing someone else say it, hearing his _dad _say it was just way too much to handle. Without saying a word he went to the bathroom and slammed the door shut.

The motel room was quiet for a minute. "He's not the only one", Dean said, breaking the silence.

"Huh?"

"Who's done mistakes. We aren't that pure either", Dean said, trying to open the bathroom door. As he had expected, it was locked. "Come out, Sammy. It's okay." No answer. "Okay, can I come in?" Still nothing. "Sam, I'm gonna kick this door down. You know I will, so why don't you just make this easier for all of us and open up." A quiet click told Dean that he could go in now. He shot a warning glance at John and opened the door, closing it behind him. Sam sat next to the wall, looking angry or sad, Dean couldn't decide which.

"Don't take him too seriously, okay?" he said, sitting down next to Sam.

"Take him too seriously?! Dean, he basically accused of those deaths!" Sam said.

"He's just... scared. You could get hurt if the spirit really wants it", Dean said.

"I'm not the only one", Sam mumbled to his knees. Dean sighed, shaking his head.

"I guess nothing gets through your thick head, does it? Come on, Sam! This is not your fault! None of it. You could not have known. You were seven, it's not fair that you were so scared that you were afraid to tell us! It's wrong in every single level there is. It's not your fault."

Sam took in a shaky breath. "The children..."

"Shit happens. It's the dark side of this job", Dean said. "It's horrible, yes, but there's nothing you could have done. And Dad doesn't hold you responsible, he knows you were young. He's just tired and scared. Okay?"

Sam nodded. "Okay..."

"I didn't quite hear you."

"Okay", Sam said stronger, managing a little smile. "Thanks."

"Anytime, Sammy."

--

_Sam woke up warm and feeling safe. That was until he turned around and realized that Dean wasn't in the bed. The clock next to the bed showed 7.37 and Dean never woke up before nine if he didn't have to. "Dean...?" Sam whispered. The room was quiet, Sam could only hear his own breathing. "Dean?" Just a little louder, Sam didn't wanna piss off the possible spirits. But he still didn't hear anything. Now he was starting to get panicked. "DEAN!!!"_

_Dean ran in the room and got on the bed, closing his arms around Sam. "Hey, it's okay. It's okay, Sam. I wasn't far, I was just in the other room", Dean said soothingly. _

_"I thought he got you..." _

_"No one's gonna get me. And you either. I told you, Sammy. You're okay, I'm here. I'm right here." _

TBC

oOOOOOoOOOOOo

**AN: **I'm exhausted... I need reviews, a lot of them. Please, anything, even you hate it. Tell me why and I'll make the next one better. Good night everyone, I go to sleep now.

Lots of Love!!


	6. Chapter 6

**Fear of a Happy Face**

**AN: **Thank you, again, for the reviews. I have read every single one and you guys really know how to make my day!

**Warnings: **Language

**Disclaimer: **Supernatural has not ever, doesn't and will not ever belong to me.

oOOOOOoOOOOOo

**Chapter six**

_"You okay now?" Dean asked when Sam had finally stopped crying. _

_"Uh-huh..." Sam said weakly, sniffing. _

_"You wanna have some breakfast?" Dean asked, pushing Sam slightly so he could se his face. Sam nodded, wiping his wet face to his sleeve. "Did you have a nighmare?" Dean asked as they made their way downstairs. Sam shook his head, no. "Okay, why where you so scared then?"_

_"What if comes again? What if he hurts you?" Sam asked, holding onto Dean's hand._

_"Sammy, who is this he you have been talking about?" Dean asked. _

_"No body..."_

_"No body?"_

_"Just a monster from my nightmare..." Sam said, trying to sound convincing. Dean didn't buy it for a second but didn't want to push._

_"By the way, we're leaving today", he said as they sat down to the kitchen table. He was more that surprised when Sam actually looked happy._

_"We are?"_

_"Yeah. Sammy, are you feeling okay, you're usually not this hap..."_

_"What time we're leaving?" Sam asked._

_"Dad called and said he'll be here in a couple of hours... Hey, where are you going?" Dean yelled after his brother who ran back upstairs._

_"I go pack!" Sam yelled back, leaving Dean stunned in the kitchen. _

--

It took a while to convince Sam to come out of the bathroom. Dean convinced himself that he saw an apologizing look in both Sam's and John's eye. No words were exchanged between them before Sam went to sleep. _It'll be alright tomorrow_ Dean told himself, knowing that it might be a lie. _Stubborn idiots..._

"You should go to sleep, too", John said.

"Can't I help you with re-e-search?" Dean said yawning. John looked at him sternly and Dean took the message. "Fine. Blame yourself if it take the whole niiiight", Dean yawned again and fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

--

A couple of hours, though to Dean it felt like couple of seconds, later Dean woke up to a knocking sound on the door. He looked around and saw Sam and John both sleeping, completely undisturbed. "Sorry, we don't wanna buy or sell anything. Specially when it's two o'clock in the morning", Dean said quietly closing his eyes again. The knockin sound ended and Dean assumed who ever had knocked had either realised it was the wrong door or that no one was gonna open.

_"Were you not gonna open? Oh, but Dean, has your father not teached you how to behave?" _

Dean bolted back on his bed but felt someone push him back down, just so strongly that he couldn't fight. He couldn't scream, his legs kicked air but he still didn't see his enemy. Not that he didn't know.

_"I have no idea how you survived. But when I thought about it, it was actually quite okay. This is even more fun. You're gonna die, one way or the other. Oh, and if you think that at least Sam's gonna be safe, think again. He is gonna choose. He has nothing to loose when you're gone. I'm not after adults." _

Dean saw the pillow in the air but couldn't do anything to stop it. It was pressed on his face, hard. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't get the pillow of his face. A little too soon his head became woozy while his lungs screamed for air. Just before he gave up the battle to stay awake he managed to get out a muffled scream. Then he passed out.

--

For a second Sam had no idea what had woke him up. He rubbed his eyes and turned on the nightlight. He scanned the room, noticing nothing out of the ordinary. He was just about to put the light out when he saw his brother. "Dean?" Why did Dean sleep with the pillow on his face. Didn't he get hot. Not to mention breathing would be quite hard...

It hit Sam like a punch. "Dean!!!!" Jumping of the bed he rushed to his brother's side, throwing the pillow away.

"Wuzz going on...?" came John's tired voice from the other bed.

"Dad, he's not breathing!" Sam said.

"Wh..."

"Dean's not breathing!!" Sam yelled, his eyes wide and full of tears. In a matter of seconds John was on the other side of Dean's bed, putting his ear near Dean's mouth.

"Damn it..." Sam watched helplessly as John put his mouth on Dean's. How could this have happened? How had they not woken up, Dean must have fought like crazry! How long had he been like this, how long had he been without oxygen...?

_"Choose and it will all end. I promise, I will leave you alone. I can't let you go without choosing. Just choose, no one will ever know..."_

--

_"When will Daddy come?" Sam asked for what felt like millionth time. _

_"I told you fove minutes ago that he's gonna be here in fifteen minutes. You do the math", Dean said. Sam sat on a big suitcase that he had packed, to his opinion perfectly but what Dean wished he could repack. "Why do you wanna go so badly anyway? You have friends here", Dean said._

_"I'll make new ones", Sam said, looking out of the window. "When will Daddy come?" _

_Dean sighed, shaking his head. Something was off with Sam. He didn't know what and it was clear that Sam didn't wanna talk about it. And if leaving town would make Sam better then he was more than happy to go. _

_"Daddy's here!!!" _

--

**AN: **Sorry about the lenght again but I really have to stop and I thought that I would update today... so, just live with it, okay? I have no time to check for spelling mistakes so I am sorry about them. Okay, gotta go! Review, please!!!

Lots of Love


	7. Chapter 7

**Fear of a Happy Face**

**AN: **Thank you, again, for the reviews. I hope you'll stick around 'til the end!

**Warnings: **Language

**Disclaimer: **Supernatural does not belong to me

oOOOOOoOOOOOo

**Chapter seven**

It was taking too long. It was taking waaaay too long. Sam felt like he had lost the capability to move or feel. He was completely numb, his eyes watching his father who was trying desperately to bring his brother back to life. Why was this happening? It was not like Dean was the one who had made the mistakes, why would he get punished?

"_Just say you'll choose Sam and he'll wake up."_

Would he? Really? What if the spirit was just lying? But if Dean didn't wake up it would be breaking his promise... And didn't Dean always say that promises are meant to be kept?

--

_They had been driving for seven hours before they stopped at a motel. Sam said he'd be happy to drive further but John was way too tired to drive any longer. He fell asleep just as soon as he fell on the bed, leaving his two sons awake. _

_Sam sat in a big arm chair reading something while Dean made food. Dean saw how he stole glances at the door as if expecting someone to break in. Finally, after fifteen minutes watching his brother being scared and not being able to relax he went to the chair with a full plate of Lucky ´Charms and told Sam to make some room. Sam ended up sitting mostly on his lab but neither one seemed to mind. _

"_Dean?"_

"_Yeah?" _

"_Did you mean it?"_

"_Mean what?"_

"_That he will not get me?" Sam turned his big eyes to Dean, his eyes filled with trust that made Dean feel warm._

"_Yeah. Nothing will get you, okay? I promise."_

"_How 'bout you?" Sam asked._

"_He will not get me either. You don't have to worry", Dean convinced. Sam's eyes turned to the Lucky Charm plate for a moment but soon turned back to his brother again. _

"_Are you a superhero?" he asked. _

"_What?" Dean asked, completely taken by surprise._

"_A superhero. They can kill anything and they'll never die", Sam explained._

"_But Sammy, I **will **die one day!" Dean regretted his words the second after he had said it. Sam's eyes went wide and a couple of tears dropped on his cheeks. "But not for a very long time!" he added quickly, but not being able to get the scared look out of Sam's eyes._

"_You can't leave me!" he said, his voice trembling. _

"_I won't okay. I promise!" Dean said, putting his arm around Sam's shoulder._

"_But you just said..." _

"_Sammy..." Dean knew Sam was smart. Sam knew everyone were gonna die. But the kid was living in a fairytale world where everyone died when they were old and had a lot of grand children and grand grand children. Dying before that was something Sam couldn't, and shouldn't have to, understand. So maybe lying in this case was acceptable. "Sammy, I promise you, neither you, me **or **Dad will die 'til we're very old and have made a lot of children and seen our grand children's children. Okay?" _

"_You promise?"_

"_I promise."_

"_You swear?"_

"_I swear, Sammy."_

--

"You swore..." Sam whispered. "Dean, you swore! I don't care did you lie or not, you swore! And promises are made to be kept, you told that to me! You can't break your promise Dean... You can't!"

"_Sam, you're a little naive, you know that? Just say you will choose. Just pick one stupid a brat. Say you will do it."_

Sam watched John put his mouth on Dean's once more. It had taken so long... There was no other choice...

"Okay..."

"_Okay?"_

"Okay."

"_Good. I hold you to it."_

In the next second Dean's eyes opened and he took in many deep long breaths. John clearly hadn't heard anything what Sam had said, being so focused on Dean. He looked beyond relieved as Dean weakly sat up.

"You okay?" he asked his son. He didn't seem to care that his son had been too long without oxygen to be as alert as he was but then again, who would?

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine", Dean answered.

"What happened?" John asked. "I just woke up when Sam screamed that you weren't breathing. Was it the spirit? What was it, why didn't you yell or anything?"

Dean looked at Sam, who was whiter than milk, trying to imagine the hell his brother had just been through. Then he suddenly frowned. "I can't remember..."

"Huh?"

"I can't remember what happened... Any of it..." Dean said, looking at his Dad, who looked back, just as confused.

"Why?"

"How should I know?" Dean asked. "I remember waking up suddenly but I don't remember why or what happened after that." John stared at his son for a second, clearly trying to make a sense of everything. But as he couldn't, he decided that someone else might be able to.

"We're going to the hospital."

--

_After eating the Lucky Charms, Sam and Dean watched some old action movie from TV. Dean told himself that sense it was very old and the blood was clearly fake and because he was there with Sam, Sam could watch it. Besides, Sam would probably be thinking about how everything had been done for real more than following the plot._

"_Dean? If someone forces someone else to kill someone, is it a crime?" Sam asked suddenly, his eyes fixed on the TV screen._

"_The murder or the forcing?" Dean asked, mildly surprised by the question._

"_Both..."_

"_Well, I guess it depends", Dean said._

"_On what?" Sam asked._

"_Uh... The age of the one being forced... And how much he or she is forced. Why are you asking?" Dean asked._

"_Just curious", Sam explained, his voice light. Dean shrugged, thinking it was probably because of the movie. That thought in his head he turned around to look at John who was still in a deep sleep. Boy was he gonna be in trouble if he woke up. _

--

"This is ridiculous..." Dean mumbled. He was sitting on a hospital, feeling absolutely fine as he had told his father at least 500 times on the way to hospital. And while in there. John had finally got tired of it and went to cafeteria to get coffee while they were waiting for the doctor.

"Isn't it better that you get checked out?" Sam asked, sitting on one of the hard chairs.

"Who's side are you on?" Dean asked, annoyed. "I'm fine! What's the big deal, I just can't remember a couple of details!"

"You asked that from Dad several times already. And if I'm honest I say Dad's right on this one. Better see than sorry."

"Remind me never to buy you any presents ever again", Dean said, standing up.

"The doctor told you to be still", Sam said right away.

"The doctor is an idiot", Dean replied.

"There might be something wrong with you!"

"I am FINE! Are you blind or something? I am walking and talking and everything, what could possibly be wrong with me?"

"Dean, you almost died!" Sam yelled. "That's the second time you've almost died today and dammet, how many times do you think I can handle? Or Dad? Just... quit whining, you're not the only one with a crappy day."

It took a moment for Dean to register everything Sam had just said. "Well... uh... you know, it's pass midnight... So I haven't almost died twice _today_..."

Sam was not at all amused. He just sat on the chair, arms crossed on his chest, looking at the wall as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. "You're not a superhero..." he said quietly.

It hurt Dean more than he would never admit. He didn't think for a second Sam had thought that his big brother was a superhero 'til this day but hearing him saying it like that was just... wrong. Sam was 13 for Christ's sake, a kid in that age should not be worrying about his big brother's well being. Hell, he was suppose to think that Dean was the most annoying person in the world (which he no doubt sometimes did). Dean admitted that for a long time he had tried to act like a superhero, just to make his brother think that they were all perfectly safe. That had worked. But it seemed that it had only worked up 'til now.

"No, I'm not", Dean finally said.

"You _could _die..." Sam said.

"Yes, I could."

"Before you have a lot a grand children..."

"Probably..."

"So what's the point?" Sam asked.

"In what?"

"In living. If we're gonna die anyway, what's the point in living?"

Dean shook his head. "Just about everything. Now you quit being such a drama queen and tell me what's really bothering you", he said. Sam looked at him, looking as innocent as he could. Dean raised his eyebrows at him, not buying the act.

"I said I'd choose..."

"What?"

"I said I'd..."

"I heard! Sam, what the hell were you thinking?!" Dean yelled. He saw anger flash in his little brother's eyes as he stood up, looking like he was gonna either hit him or start crying.

TBC

oOOOOOoOOOOOo

**AN: **Okay, well... I hope you liked it, it was written with the lovely presence of my two little sisters, I'm sorry if the quality suffered. They are not very inspiring. You should see the way the older one, who understands English, is looking at me right now. The other one, THANK GOD, does not understand. She would probably delete the whole chapter...

Aaaanyway, please review, tell me if it's good or bad. Please. puppy eyes

Lots of Love!


	8. Chapter 8

**Fear of a Happy Face**

**AN: **It's not easy to write while you're doing your homework, I'll tell you that. Buuut I'll try. Thank you for the reviews, keep sending them, they make me smile everytime!

**Warnings: **Language (This time for real)

**Disclaimer: **Nope, Supernatural is not mine...

oOOOOOoOOOOOo

**Chapter eight**

Sam didn't know how he was suppose to defend himself, or should he at all. He knew what he had done was what Dean or John would not have wanted him to do but still... As horrible as it sounds, he couldn't bring himself to feel guilty about it.

"Say something Sam! What the hell were you thinking?" Dean asked again.

"You were gonna die..." Sam said quietly. "He said that if I said I would choose you'd start breathing again..."

"And you believed him? Sam..."

"Well you're there, aren't you? And what was I suppose to do, just sit there and let you die?"

"Yes!!" Dean said without thinking. Sam just stared at him, his eyes watery and without another word rushed out of the room just as John came in.

"Where do you think you are going?" John yelled after his youngest.

"I'll wait in the car!" John turned to look at Dean, completely confused.

"Did something happen? Did you guys fight?"

--

_"Dean. Hey, wake up..."_

_"Huh..." Dean opened his eyes to see John look at him from above. "Dad? Something wrong?" _

_"No. I just thought you'd be more comfortable on the bed", John said, smiling. Dean looked around and realised he was still on the arm chair with Sam on his lab. Sam was sleeping peacefully, totally undisturbed by his father. But when John put his arms around him to carry him to the bed, his hand went to a fist around Dean's shirt and he hold on for a dear life. _

_"Sammy?" Dean said but the little boy was still in a deep sleep. "Come on Sammy, let go..."_

_"No..." Sam mumbled, burying his face to Dean's chest. "Don't wanna..." he added which told John and Dean he had woken up. _

_"Okay, Sammy. You can sleep next to Dean. But you gotta go to the bed, okay?" John said._

_"Why?" Sam asked sleepily._

_"Well, first of all, I won't be able to move in the morning if I'm gonna sleep under you, sitting up", Dean said. _

_"Oh... okay..." Sam got up from the chair, not letting go of Dean. "Daddy?" _

_"Yeah?" _

_"Did you salt the doors?" _

_"Yes, of course Sam. Why?" John asked._

_"Just checking", Sam said, climbing on the bed. He waited for Dean to climb next to him and then threw the blanket over his head. _

_"You really wanna sleep like that?" Dean asked. _

_"It's like camping", Sam gave for an explanation. Dean smiled._

_"You mind if I come camping, too?" he asked. _

_"No..." Sam whispered. "That'd be fun..." Dean put the covers over himself, too. John heard him whispering something to Sam and then Sam giggling. He smiled, there was really something in Dean that always managed to make Sam feel better._

--

"Okay, mr. Winchester, you're free to go." Dean was almost out of the door before the doctor had finished his sentence. He was more than tired of the hospital, pissed but most of all, he was worried about Sam. He knew he would be the one who would have to apologize, but to do that he would have to find the boy first.

"So what exactly happened between you and Sam while I was gone?" John asked, catching up with his eldest after signing few papers.

"Just uh... disagreeing", Dean said, stepping out of the hospital.

"Yeah, like you never have those", John mumbled. Dean just shrugged and sighed an invisible sigh of relief when he saw Sam sitting on the passanger's side, leaning his head on the window. When he saw John and Dean he got out and went to the back, knowing that Dean would make him move anyway.

"Can I drive?" Dean asked.

"No."

"Why?"

"Because", John said and stepped into the car. Dean rolled his eyes and got in, too.

"Didn't you get bored?" he asked Sam. Sam didn't bother to answer, just kept looking out of the way. Dean shook his head but didn't say anything else. He was not gonna apologize in front of John. No way, nuh uh..

"Hey, boys. I need to go back to the circus so I want you guys to stay inside the room", John said.

"What? You mean we can't leave the room?" Dean asked, hating the idea.

"Yes, Dean, that is what I mean. I don't care how you angry you are with each other, neither one of you is allowed to leave the room. Understood?" John asked.

"Yes, sir..." Dean and Sam said at the same time.

Once back at the motel room John made sure all the windows were salted and then took off. A silence fell into the room and neither one of the boys felt like breaking it. Sam lied on his bed, looking at the ceiling. A lot of people would think that it must had been boring as hell but Sam was thinking so hard he could hardly call lying on the bed boring, not to mention relaxing. How was he suppose to get out of this one? Because boy, was he in a trouble. He was in it so damn deep he doubted John or Dean could get him out of it. He didn't want to choose but he couldn't break the deal. Sam knew that if he would that, he could just as well kill Dean by himself. There was no way the spirit would give his brother even a slightest chance...

"Dean, what am I gonna do?" Sam said suddenly. Dean looked at him from his own bed where he was watching TV.

"So you're talking to me now?"

"I'm serious, Dean! What the hell am I gonna do?" Sam asked, his eyes desperate for some kind of advice.

Dean's advice, however, was not what Sam wanted to hear: "Don't choose."

A) It could not be that simple.

B) That meant that Dean would die.

C) ...

"Anything better?" Sam asked.

"Well, of course, we have to find the remains or whatever it is that is binding that evil clown to this world and get rid of it but for now, no. Just don't choose", Dean said simply, his eyes fixed in the TV screen.

"He said he'd hold me to my promise", Sam said.

"Of course. But you don't", Dean replied.

"Dean, that means he's probably gonna kill _you!_" Sam said. Dean turned his eyes from the TV to his brother and shrugged.

"Well, all I can say is that I'm not going without a fight."

--

_"We should go to sleep, Sam", Dean said. They were still under the covers, even if they had heard John's breathing even out at least an hour ago. But Sam was enjoying his little 'camp out' with is brother too much to go to sleep._

_"Could you tell me another story?" he asked hopefully. Dean sighed._

_"I've already told you two!" he said._

_"Yeah, but... Come on, just one more!" Sam begged._

_"Fine, but you promise you go to sleep right after it?" Dean said._

_"I promise."_

_"Okay... Uh... Well, this story is about a... knight. And a horrible monster that lives in a lake..."_

_"Like the monster of Loch Ness?" Sam asked._

_"You wanna hear this or not?" Sam nodded. "Okay, so stop asking questions. Anyway. Uh... This monster had trapped few mermaids..."_

_"But you said it lived in a lake!" Sam argued. "There are no mermaids in lakes!" _

_"Fine, lakemaids. It kept the lakemaids in a dungeon and there was absolutely no way out. All the brave lake... uh... lakemen tried to rescue them but the monster killed the all. When all the hope was lost, a knight from the land came to the beacjh and yelled for the monster to appear. He had heard about the mermaids in trouble and because he had the biggest heart in the world he wanted to try and safe them. His name was sir Sammy." Sam giggled. "When sir Sammy called for the monster, it came and asked sir Sammy what he wanted. 'I want you to set those mermaids that you have trapped.' The monster laughed. 'How are you gonna make me?' 'I have a secret weapon!' sir Sammy announced. '"Oh yeah, what is that...' 'It's something you're gonna be so afraid of: my brother!'" Sam giggled even harder. "And suddenly there was another knight next to Sam and together they sent the monster to a lake so far away it could never bother anyone ever again. The mermaids got free and they invited the knights to their castle where they were treated like hero's like they were. Specially sir Sammy cuz his heart was so big he couldn't let the mermaids on trouble even of they lived in another world. The end."_

_"Tell one more!" Sam begged._

_"No, go to sleep."_

_"Dean...!"_

_"How're you gonna save any mermaids if you don't get any sleep?" Dean asked. Sam's eyes widened by the thought that he could save mermaids. In five minutes he had drifted into a dream world._

TBC

oOOOOOoOOOOOo

**AN: **I hope it was worth waiting for. Tell me what ya think!

Lots of Love!


	9. Chapter 9

**Fear of a Happy Face**

**AN: **Thanks guys for the reviews and I'm so sorry it takes me so long to update. I'm having trouble with school and studying takes a lot of my time. But I'm doing the best I can, I swear. Keep telling me what ya think.

**Warnings: **Language

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Supernatural

oOOOOOoOOOOOo

**Chapter nine**

Sam could not believe Dean was taking this so... lightly. Like he was ready to put a bullet in his head if it came down to that. Even now Dean was watching the TV, clearly knowing that Sam was staring at him. Neither one of them broke the silence that was becoming thicker and thicker. Sam knew Dean didn't really see the TV screen. He could tell from the look on Dean's face that he was thinking, probably a way to get out of this. Fast.

"Sam?"

Sam jumped as the silence was broken. "Yeah?"

"Have I made it clear enough that whatever happens, you do not choose?" Dean asked. Sam swallowed. He wanted to 'no' so badly but he knew Dean was gonna be so mad and make it clear to him, whatever it took.

"Yes..." he said quietly, lowering his head.

"Good."

A silence fell again. Sam was biting his lower lip, fighting back the words he wanted to say. God, he wanted to let Dean know exactly what he was thinking about all of this. But he knew he would never win the fight that would follow.

"I'm sorry, Dean..."

"Huh?" Dean turned to look at his little brother, completely taken off guard.

"I know you would not have wanted me to agree with the spirit's terms. I'm sorry, I didn't see any other way out! I didn't want this to happen, I didn't, I swear! I was just so scared that you would die, you were not breathing! Dad couldn't make you breath, you _were_ dead! So I'm sorry if you feel bad about this but I'm not sorry that you're alive. I can't. Please don't ask me to..."

Dean blinked as he watched his brother with his mouth open. "Sam, I..."

"I don't wanna choose. Dean, there has to be a way to get round this. You've thought of something, right? There's a way to get rid of it. There always is..." The look on Sam's face was desperate but his eyes showed nothing but pure trust in his brother. He didn't know what else to do but to depend on the fact that Dean would figure something out.

--

_"Dean, wake up! Let's go safe mermaids!" Sam jumped up and down next to the bed where Dean still slept._

_"What?" Dean mumbled, putting a pillow over his head only to be thrown away by Sam. _

_"Let's go safe mermaids!" Sam said, trying to take off Dean's blanket, too. _

_"Sam, there's no ocean anywhere near us!" Dean said, turning to other side._

_"So let's go safe lakemaids! Get up, get up, get up!" Sam climbed on the bed and began to jump. When he heard Dean groaning in defeat he threw his hands in the air and screamed in excitment: "Daddy! We're gonna go safe lakemaids!"_

_"I heard you, Sammy", came John's amused voice from the little kitchen. Dean groaned again. Last thing he wanted was his father to hear about the little story he had made up. "But Sammy, I'm afraid there aren't any lakes around either", John added. _

_"What?!" Sam kneeled down next to Dean and looked at him with big, questioning eyes. "Is it true?"_

_"How should I know, Sam? Only been here for the last 16 hours", Dean said, still not getting up. "I promise you we'll safe lakemaids or mermaids next time we get near water, okay?" Sam crossed his arms over his chest. "What if they are in trouble now?" he asked._

_"I'm sure they would call for you", Dean said. _

_"They know my name?"_

_"Of course they know your name, sir Sammy", Dean said and yawned. "But even knights sleep when they have no job to do." _

_"But I'm not sleepy!" Sam said but got no response as Dean had fallen asleep again. The younger boy thought for about ten seconds and then woke his brother up again. "You think there are mini-mermaids in the tub?"_

_"Dad!!"_

--

Dean sighed. The only plan that he had come up with included one: going to the circus and two: making himself a bait. He was more than sure neither John or Sam was gonna agree with it even if it would probably be the best plan they had if they didn't find the spirit's body.

"Dean?"

"You ain't gonna like it", Dean admitted, thinking that it would be best to just say it. "We need a bait".

Sam gulped. "And by a bait you mean...?"

"An innocent kid from the town. Me, Sam, you know that!" Dean said.

Sam shook his head. "No. That's not gonna happen, no way."

"You don't have a word in this, Sammy", Dean said.

"The hell I don't! You're not gonna put yourself as a bait, that's not even gonna work!" Sam yelled.

"Yes, it will. Say you'll choose me."

Sam's eyes went wide and the trust turned into disbelief, anger and fear. "What?"

"I said you wouldn't like it. But that way he'll come after me and we'll have a chance to trap it. If I get hurt, tough, but you and I both know this is the best plan we have. We just have to make Dad approve and then we can start working on it", Dean said, so calmly it made Sam even more angry.

"You can't make me say I want to kill you!" he yelled.

"You don't have to say that! You only have to say I'm the one you'll choose!" Dean argued.

"That's the same thing!" Sam said.

"Sam, why are you trying to make this so difficult? It's as simple as it..."

"Simple?!" Sam yelled. "You wanna tell what in your fucking plan could possibly be simple?!"

"And you wanna tell me what in the world makes you talk like that, Sam Winchester", came a voice from the door. Neither one of the boys had heard the door opening as John came in. He was looking at his youngest, half confused, half angry. But Sam was so angry himself this did not disturb him.

"Dean's plan. Dean's stupid, stupid plan that might..."

"Hey, woah! Dangerous maybe, yes, but not stupid. We both know that!" Dean cut Sam off.

"What plan are you talking about" John asked, trying to make sense out of his sons' conversation.

"Using me as a bait", Dean said. "It'd be simple, we could trap the spirit and force any information that we need out of it", Dean explained.

"But we're not gonna use that plan, right Dad?" Sam said, turning to look at his Dad. When John bit his lip, looking clearly like he thought the plan was great, Sam just blew up: "You have got to be kidding me! You can't do this to me, you can't make me say it! Dean, please!" Sam turned back to Dean, pleading. "Please. Please, don't make me say it! Anything else, but please... Please, Dean..."

Dean hated it so much. He couldn't stand seeing Sam so afraid and broken. He'd do almost anything just to take that look away from Sam's face but he knew only one thing could do that was that one thing he couldn't do. "I'm sorry, Sammy... It's the only plan we've got..."

--

_"What do lakemonsters eat?" Sam asked as they were eating lunch in a little diner. It could luckily be counted as a little child's innocent question so Dean didn't hesitate to answer. _

_"Little boys with brown hair and awesome big brothers", he saids, ignoring the look John sent him. But to their both surprise Sam just looked thoughtful. _

_"So I'd be a perfect bait", he said almost happily. _

_"No, Sam!" John said right away. Sam looked confused._

_"Why not?" he asked._

_"Sammy, whatever happens, I never want you to put your life at stake. Not even if it's a game. That goes for both of you", John said, leaning forward so people around them wouldn't hear. _

_"But Daddy..."_

_"No, Sam. That's a order I want both of you to remember for the rest of your life. Got it?"_

_"Yes sir", Dean and Sam replied. _

oOOOOOoOOOOOo

TBC

**AN: **Tell me what ya think, pleeeeaseee! In the next chapter I promise there'll be more action!

Lots of Love!


	10. Chapter 10

**Fear of a Happy Face**

**AN: **Thank you guys for reviews, they make my day. I'm sorry it takes longer and longer to update... I have a school project going on and because it's not just mine I can't really just... write this instead if that, my friend would KILL me. I don't want her to fail, I don't care that much of me. I hope you understand. :D

**Warning:** Language

**Disclaimer: **I just baught the first season DVD box but no, I still don't own the show...

oOOOOOoOOOOOo

**Chapter ten**

It had been thirty minutes since anyone had said anything. Thirty minutes since Dean had told Sam that using him as a bait was the best and only plan they had. Thirty minutes since Sam had rushed out of the room. And for thirty minutes he had been sitting on a bench in front of it. No way was he gonna face his Dad or Dean. No. They should really think what they were asking him to do. It wasn't fair! How could the expect him to do that! It was like letting Dean walk to a werewolf's cave all alone. It was like watching him bleed to death and not do anything, it was like killing him!

"Sammy?"

"Go away", Sam said quietly when he heard Dean's voice. Dean, however, just sat down next to him, like he had not even heard. "I said go away. I'm mad at you, I'm not talking to you!"

"Okay, so let's not talk", Dean said calmly. "Let's just sit here and wait for the big angry spirit", he added, getting into a comfortable position. He crossed his arms across his chest and leaned back on the bench. "I know it's not fair", he said.

"Then why do you make me do it?" Sam asked.

"Made you talk", Dean said, smiling a little.

"Dean..."

"It's the best and only plan we have, as I have told you like million times. You know this, Sam."

"No, I don't! How can it be the best plan we have when you might end up dead?!" Sam asked. He was getting more and more angry. There was no way he was gonna go through with this and if he could only make Dean see how stupid the plan was...

"I'm not planning to die anytime soon", Dean said calmly.

"I don't think it's up to you..." Sam pointed out. Dean sighed. He had known this would be hard but... Sam was being ridiculous... It was not like the world was ending or anything. "What would you do if you were in my shoes?" Sam suddenly asked, as if he had read Dean's thoughts.

"That's not a fair question", Dean said.

"Why?"

"Cuz I'm the older brother. My job is to make sure you will never _ever _be in this situation."

--

_Sam was watching the TV but Dean doubted he saw anything. The look on the little boy's face told Dean he was thinking about something, hard. The sound of the shower was oddly comforting. The knowledge their Dad was near of anything happened..._

_"Dean?"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"Why did Daddy become so serious when I said I'd be a good bait. It was just a game and I was right, wasn't I?" Sam asked. To him the plan was perfect. Dean sat down next to him, thinking about what to say._

_"Well, uh... You know, people who are used as baits quite often end up dead. Putting yourself in front of a monster or whatever, it's just stupid. Specially if you don't have anyone backing you up", Dean explained._

_"But I would have you! And I could ask Daddy, too!" Sam argued. "I mean, I'd have you, right?"_

_"Of course you'd have me, you don't even have to ask that! But even if you have someone, it might not be god enough..."_

_"But you and Daddy are the best!"_

_"Even so... Sam, the bait is what the monster wants. And if you want the monster to come for you, you have to be alone, the others have to be hiding. And if the monster is fast enough, the others won't have time to safe you. You understand what I'm saying. It's just too dangerous. I mean... What would we do without our little Sammy?" Dean said, trying to make himself sound convincing enough. _

_"I'm not little!" Sam said. "One day I'll be taller than you!" he announced._

_Dean laughed. "Yeah, sure."_

_"I will!" A short silence. "Dean?"_

_"What?"_

_"You and Daddy... You won't put yourselves as baits either, right?" Sam said, looking up to his big brother._

_"Well, Dad's order was for me, too", Dean said._

_"And Daddy won't either. Right, Dean?" _

_Dean looked from Sam to the bathroom door. The water had stopped running and any second John would come out so he could answer the question by himself. But Dean was afraid Sam would not be very happy with the answer he would get._

_"No, Sammy. Dad won't either."_

--

Sam shook his head. Dean was just so... damn... stubborn! He was stubborn and stupid and a bastard and...

"Dean..."

The fear in Sam's voice caught Dean's attention. Sam was looking straigh ahead of him, his eyes wide. "It's here?" Sam nodded. Dean's actions were quick. He caught Sam's arm and pushed him back to the room and locked the door.

"That won't keep him out", Sam said, though knowing that Dean's actions were more of a routine.

"Sam, you know what you have to do now, right?" John, who had guessed what was happening, said.

"Dad, there has to be another way! You can't be happy about this either!" Sam said. John's face looked like he wasn't but he didn't say anything.

"Sam, we really don't have time to argue. You know what you have to say. It'll be okay, k? I promise", Dean said.

"Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Promise. I don't want you to promise anything that you might not be able to keep."

Dean didn't have time to reply. The clown appeared in front of him, now visible to all of them. "So, Sam, you made your decision yet?" Sam bit his lower lip. He was not ready for this... He was so not ready for this. "I don't have the whole day, Sam. Who's it gonna be?"

"Sam..." Sam heard Dean mumbling next to him. From the corner of his eyehe could see John reaching for a gun but somehow he knew it wouldn't work.

"Dean..." Sam said so quietly John or Dean didn't even hear it. But the clown did.

"First you safe him and then you want me to kill him. What a waste. Aww, well. I don't really are who I kill. If this is what you want, to be it."

The next few seconds were like from a slow motion film for Sam. One second Dean was next to him and the clown in front of him and the second Dean was flying threw the window and the clown had disappeared. Sam heard John calling Dean's name from somewhere far away as he turned around to the now mashed window. Dean lied on the ground, eyes closed and unmoving and the clown was reaching down for him.

"Don't touch him!" Sam suddenly yelled, unable to stop himself.

"Oh, but Sam, this is what you chose, isn't it? I'll be back for you later, so you can help me kill him. Bye!" And in a blink of an eye, both the clown and Dean were gone. Sam stood there, completely in shock. This had not gone as planned. Not nearly as planned...

--

When Dean woke up, first thing he noticed was a smell of popcorn. The second thing that caught his senses was that he was tied up. "Oh, great."

"You don't have to be here long", came a voice from somewhere. The echo made it impossible to place. "Just as long as I come with a way to kill you."

"I'm surprised you haven't done it already", Dean said.

"Oh no, I can't spoil Sam's fun now can I? No, he will come here and help me. I'm surprised that he picked you. Though I'm quite sure this is a trap. Not that your brother and Dad will find a way to kill me. Sam will help me kill you and he'll be mine forever."

Dean frowned. He had forgot about that part. Oh man, this plan was going to a completely wrong direction...

oOOOOOoOOOOOo

TBC

**AN: **Tell me what ya think, k? Please?

Lots of Love


	11. Chapter 11

**Fear of a Happy Face**

**AN: **I'm so so so sorry you guys, you have no idea! I tried to update sooner, I swear I did but... well... And after this chapter I'll have an exam week, so to say, one week nothing but exams and because I have physics and Swedish, I'll have to read extra hard. If I remember correctly some of you was from Sweden... Could you please explain why you have so many rules in your language? No offence, I love the country, come there almost every summer but I really can't learn the language... Aaaanyway. Off to the story.

**Warnings: **Language

**Disclaimer: **No, I do not own Supernatural

oOOOOOoOOOOOo

**Chapter eleven**

This could not be happening. Dean knew exactly where he was and this was really one of those times he did not want to know. He was lying down on his back and he knew that if he would try to sit up, not to mention stand, his head would hit solid wood. That was because he had tried. The spirit had knocked him off again and when he had woken up a complete silence and darkness had surrounded him. A little while ago he had heard muffled voices of children's laughter, which told him that a show had just ended. And that meant there was no one that would hear his calls.

Yes, Dean Winchester was in a place where even slightly claustrophobic person would go nuts. Hell, even someone who wasn't claustrophobic at all: In a box. How big or small, Dean had not dared to try. He would never admit it, but thinking that maybe, just maybe, the box was very big, kept him from panicking.

"You know what time it is?"

If Dean could have jumped, he would have. The spirit had caught him off guard. Another thing he would never admit.

"It's time to get your brother."

"Don't you touch him!" Dean yelled through the cover. Even if Dean couldn't see the clown's face, he could hear that he was smiling from his voice,

"I don't have to."

--

Sam felt numb. He was doing everything his father told him to do, check his gun, salt the doorway, made sure everything was okay. But his eyes only left the spot where the spirit had taken Dean when there was absolutely no way he could look at that spot and perform the task John had told him to do. This plan, stupid from the begin with, had not gone the way it was suppose to. Not at all.

"Dad, it's gonna make me kill him", Sam said. John stopped going through his journal and looked at his son.

"What the hell do you mean?"

"Didn't you hear what he said? And he said that last time, too. It was gonna make me help kill someone and then I would be his forever! Dad, it's gonna make me kill Dean!" Sam said, his voice high from the fear.

"No, it's not. There's no way I'm gonna let it do that, you hear me? Your brother is not going to die tonight, specially not by you. We're gonna find him and kill that son of a bitch", John said, his voice oddly calm. Checking his gun one last time he threw a jacket on himself. "Now, Samuel, under no circumstances are you to leave my side. You stay close, got that?"

Sam nodded. "Yes sir."

"Good. Come on."

_"Is this how Dean feels when I'm in danger?" _Sam wondered while walking about two feet behind John. Sam could only recall one time, about two years ago, when his life had actually been in real danger and he could remember the fear in Dean's eyes that, now that Sam thought about it, had never quite vanished.

How many times had Dean's life been in danger, Sam had lost count. For one time Dean had actually been in a hospital for almost a month, half of it in a coma. And Sam had no idea how many times Dean and John had come home at least another one bleeding heavily. But Dean had never been missing. Never. And for some reason this scared Sam more than anything before.

--

_"Dammet!" _

_"What?" Sam was instantly at Dean's side when he had heard his brother cursing. His eyes widened when he saw Dean's hand. "You're bleeding!"_

_"It's nothing Sam, just cut it while making lunch. It's okay", Dean assured. "Could you get me a plaster?" _

_It didn't take Sam more than thirty seconds to get the first aid kit from the bathroom. He refused to let Dean wrap his finger by himself but instead carefully put the plaster on his brother's finger. "There", he said, satisfied by his work. _

_"Well, Sammy, I think one day you'll be a doctor", Dean said, smiling and getting back to making lunch._

_"You think so?" Sam asked excitedly_

_"Yeah. Well, of course if you think you can give up the career of being a knight that saves mermaids", Dean replied. Sam seemed to thought about this for few seconds. _

_"Doctors safe lives", he said finally._

_"Yeah, they do", Dean agreed._

_"But Daddy saves lives, too!"_

_"He does."_

_"And you help him."_

_"Try to."_

_"But if you and Dad and the doctors save lives, why is it only you and Dad who get hurt?" Sam asked, complete innocence echoing in his voice. This question got Dean off guard and he put the knife he was using to cut onions down. How would he explain this?_

_"Well, Sam, doctors don't know everything", he said._

_"But they are really smart. They go to college and everything!" Sam said. _

_"Yeah, well... College doesn't teach everything", Dean said. "It teaches you how to make people get better when they are hurt but it doesn't teach you to kill those bastards who hurt them."_

_Sam frowned. "But is it always a supernatural thing that hurts people? I mean, people can get hurt by a car, right?" he asked. Dean sighed. Sam was asking way too clever questions for his age. _

_"Yes, Sammy, that's right."_

_"Dean?"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"Can people hurt people on purpose?" _

_Dean looked down at the little boy who looked back, his eyes shining. Dean knew Sam's innocence was more fragile than any other child's and it had suffered many hits, but somehow he knew that this could be the one thing that would shatter it to a million peaces._

_"Sammy..."_

_"People don't do it, right? They don't hurt each other?" Sam's eyes were shining, he was afraid of what he was gonna hear. But instead of saying anything, Dean put his arm around the little boys shoulder and pressed him close to him self. Sam put his own arms around Dean's waist and didn't let go until Dean was done making food._

--

The circus are was quiet. Sam could still smell the grease of the popcorns in the air but there was absolutely no other sound but the sound of his heart pounding to his chest. Dean had been missing for less than an hour and Sam was already afraid he would never see him again. Or that the next time he saw him, he would be putting a knife through his chest.

Sam shivered and it had nothing to do with the wind. The thought of killing Dean was unbearable. He could not live with himself if he did it. And Sam was pretty sure John would not talk to him ever again.

_"Sammy..."_

Sam turned around. He could have sworn he heard Dean's voice. Shaking his head, Sam kept walking behind his Dad.

_"Help..."_

This time Sam was sure he had heard it. He stopped walking, not bothering to call after his Dad, fearing that he would miss something if he didn't listen.

_"Help me, Sammy..."_

"Dean?" Having no idea where the voice had come from Sam just started to walk towards the circus tent. He could see John walking completely other way, supposedly going to check the trailers, but he did not care right now.

_"Sam, I'm dying..."_

"Hold on, Dean, I'm coming", Sam said to the air and started to run. He ran in the tent and looked around. When he didn't see anything out of the ordinary he ran to the back stage, praying to find Dean, even tied up and beaten, just to find him, alive.

"Help!!!!"

It wasn't a whisper. There was no coldness in it. It was a scream and it was Dean's voice screaming it. This time sure of where it had came from, Sam ran towards it. He came to a place where there was a lot of old stuff, maybe used when something broke down but no likely a place anyone ever noticed if they didn't have to.

"Help!"

"Dean?"

"Sammy?" Sam's heart skipped a beat. He had found him. He had found him in time.

"Dean, where are you?" Sam yelled.

"Sam, you have to leave!"

"What? Dean, where are you?" Sam asked again, trying to locate Dean's voice.

"Sam, it's coming for you, you have to go. Now!"

"I'm not leaving you here, where are you?"

"I mean it, Sam! GO!"

"You screamed for help, Dean. I'm here, I'm gonna help you, just tell me where you are!" Sam yelled, frustrated.

"Sam, please. Please, just go!"

Sam shook his head. Dean may not want to tell him where he was but his plan had worked. He knew where Dean's voice came from and his blood turned into ice. This was not what he had wanted to find out.

A big box. Or big if you looked at from the out side but small if you put a person in there. And Dean was in it. Oh God, Dean was in it.

"Dean?" Sam said, knocking the cover.

"Oh, Jesus. Sam, just go, okay?"

"Dean I can't leave you here! Hold on, I'll let you out", Sam said, trying to lift the cover. That was when he noticed it was locked. "Well, this makes things more difficult..." he said, trying to make his voice sound light.

"Sam. You know what you have to do now."

Sam turned around and gasped. The clown was in the exact same suit as six years ago when he had first saw him. It looked at him, smiling.

"There's no way to open that box. Unless you shoot the lock but that's too risky, you'll probably kill him when you do that."

Sam didn't have to hear that, he already knew it.

"Your brother is running out of oxygen. He's gonna suffocate. Some say it's the nastiest way to go. Without oxygen, slowly stopping from breathing, heart stopping, maybe a panic attack before that. And that's gonna happen to your brother."

"No, it's not", Sam denied, his hand on the cover.

"Oh, but it is. But you know what, you can stop that from happening. You can stop your brother from suffering this horrible death. Just shoot. Shoot threw the cover to his heart. I know you have a gun with you. I promise you, you'd be doing him a favor."

--

Dean listened to the spirit, knowing that being shot would probably be nicer than suffocate to a little box. But he also knew that shooting would break Sam. He would not be able to handle it.

"Sam, you have to go." This time it was gentle. It was stating a fact. Not desperate, just telling the truth.

"I'll be back, Dean."

Dean frowned. What the hell was Sam talking about?

"Sam, what the...?

"I'll be back, Dean. I promise. Just hang on, I'll be right back."

And then there was silence again. Praying to every god in the whole wide world Sam had more sense that coming back, Dean started accept the fact that there was no coming out of this one.

TBC

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**AN: **Oh Dear... Well, the next chapter will be the last and by one chapter this story will become the longest I have written.

Oh, and now that I remember, there was a question about the flashbacks, does Sam remember them or are they just for you. Well, originally they were meant to be memories but now they are more just back round information. Hope I cleared something out.

Alrighty, I hope you'll tell me what you think and I'll be back with the last chapter as soon as I can.

Lots of Love!


	12. Chapter 12

**Fear of a Happy Face**

**AN: **Hey ya all! This is the last chapter of this story. I hope you all have enjoyed and I hope to see you when I write my next story. I might write few oneshots before I come up with an actual plot. I have an idea, I just have to work on it a little. But please, ALL that has ever read this story, tell me what you thought of it. I'm glad that my English is good enough so you understand something. :D

**Warnings: **Language

**Disclaimer: **No, I do not own Supernatural

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**Chapter twelve**

This would work, Dean wasn't dead yet. Yes, this would work just fine, Sam had nothing to be worried about. He would just find his Dad and something that he could use to break the box without Dean getting hurt and then kill that spirit. Or maybe kill that spirit first, then all would go more smoothly... Or maybe he should let Dean out first, so he could get some air... Or maybe they could do them both at the same time. Or maybe... Oh for Heaven's sake, was it really that important? First, before everything, Sam had to find John.

"Dad!! DAD!!!" Sam yelled. He could not care less if people woke up because of his screaming, that was really the last thing in his mind right now. "DAD!!!"

"Sam? What the hell, I thought I told you not leave my side!" John said when Sam finally found him.

"You did... I... Dad, I found him!" Sam said, catching his breath after running.

"What? Where?" John asked right away, his anger at his youngest completely forgotten.

"The spirit locked him up in a box. Dad, he's gonna die if don't get him out!" Sam said, his voice rising with every word.

"Hey, I told you, your brother ain't gonna die tonight. We're gonna get him out, okay. Now, show me where it is."

--

_It had been a while since Dean had travelled in the back with Sam. Since he had been aloud to drive in the front he had felt him self a little more older and was more than a little interested about the car itself. But now he travelled in the back. For some reason Sam had gotten very upset about their last conversation and Dean knew it wasn't good to let Sam think about it in his little head all alone. If Dean could just keep Sam's thoughts out of it for some time, he was sure that the little boy would forget it. _

_"Hey, boys. What do you say about McDonald's?" John asked from the front. _

_"Can I get a milkshake?" Sam asked._

_"Sure", John replied. _

_"A chocolate one?"_

_"Yes."_

_"With a funny cup?"_

_"If you want to."_

_"With whipped cream?"_

_"Sammy, I'm afraid McDonald's doesn't put whipped cream in milkshake", John said, smiling._

_"Oh." A little silence. "You think you could ask them to put whipped cream in it? I could do my puppy eyes. Even Dean can't say no to my puppy eyes." _

_John laughed. He had known that ever since Sam had started to use them on his brother but he had no idea Sam was aware of it himself, too. _Man, that boy's gonna be smart _he thought._

_"I so can say no to your puppyeyes!" Dean protested, though he knew it was useless. John just shook his head a little when he pulled the Impala to the McDonald's parking lot. _

_"Stay here, I'll be right back", he told the boys, knowing how long it would take Dean to decide what he wanted if he came inside himself. Sam and Dean just nodded and Dean automatically locked the door when John had closed it._

_"When's Daddy gonna come back?" Sam asked as soon as John had disappeared into the restaurant. _

_"Depends on how many people there are", Dean answered._

_"Maybe he could tell we're waiting and they would let him go first", Sam suggested. _

_"I don't think that would work", Dean said. "Are you hungry or something? He's only been gone for two minutes." Sam just shrugged and turned to look out of the window. Suddenly he screamed, making Dean jump and turn on into the full on big brother mode. "What is it?" _

_Sam didn't answer. He was trying to get the seat belt off and get as far away from the window was he could but because he tried to do those both at the same time he only managed to almost strungle himself. _

_"Sammy? Sam, calm down, what is it?" Dean asked. He helped Sam get the seat belt off and the younger immediately made his way to Dean's lab. "Hey, it's okay. You're okay. What is it, what did you see?" Dean asked, closing his arms around the panicked little boy. Sam didn't answer, he just kept his head buried in Dean's chest. Dean looked around, trying to see what had scared Sam so badly. The only thing he saw was a smiling guy that had dressed like Ronald McDonald hugging kids. There was nothing scary about that so what was Sam so scared about?_

_"They were out of chocolate so I brought you strawberry, I hope that's... Sammy?" John looked questioningly at Dean when Sam didn't respond to his Dad by anyway. Dean just shrugged, having no idea what was going on._

_"Let's just go..." Sam whispered, not lifting his head. John got in the car and drove away from the thing that had scared his son. It wasn't until thirty minutes after that when he and Dean finally convinced Sam that there was nothing to be scared about._

--

Dean Winchester didn't panic easily. And when he did panic, it was hardly never about his own life or well-being. But right now, with all honesty, and because Dean figured he would not live long enough to tell anyone about it, he was slowly but surely starting to panic. His head told him to scream but Dean was too afraid he would piss the spirit off. And what good would screaming do, anyway? It wasn't like someone would come and safe him. Not without getting killed themselves...

"Dean?"

What the hell? No way was that Sammy, he was suppose to be somewhere far away by now.

"Dean, are you okay?"

Okay, this was getting very weird, that could not be Dad, right? Oh man, breathing was really starting to get hard. How long had he been there anyway?

"Dean!!!"

_Would you stop screaming, I'm trying to sleep!_

"Dean...!!"

Dean could see the puppy eyes that he could never say no to. Damn, Sam was good! "I'm okay..." It came out as more than a cough but it seem to put the other two at eace, at least for a while.

"Don't worry, son, we're gonna get you out of there", John's convincing voice came to his ears. But it was so hard to listen anymore. He heard Sam's voice, too but he couldn't make out the words. Could they talk a little louder maybe...? There was a third voice, too, who did that belong to? What the hell was going on?

--

"You really think you can get him out?" Sam and John both turned around when they heard the voice of the spirit. It was smiling evily and it looked like he knew he had won. "This circus is old, ya know. It has travelled from town to town for almost fifty years." The spirit looked around in the tent almost lovingly. "It's not easy to see your friends performing when no one can see you. Or the could but they would not believe it since they all saw me dying. Those stupid children just laughed while I suffocated... No one heard me, no one thought about me, no one cared that I was missing..."

It was starting to get weird. The spirit was bitter but so was almost every spirit there was...

"How did you suffocate?" Sam suddenly asked, putting his fear and disgust aside.

"I... I mean... That same box! That same box, I was practising my show but someone really locked it! Someone locked it, I couldn't get out! For almost two hours... Two hours I tried, I yelled, I screamed... But no one came, no one even tried to help me!"

Sam could not help but take a step closer to John when he saw the spirit getting even more angry. But no matter how scared he was, he knew he had to play this game to the end.

"Would you wanna show me? I mean, I would love to see how you get out of there. The children must have loved it but I have never seen a clown do a show. Could you show me?" Sam turned on his puppyeyes, though he didn't really think they would work now. The spirit eyed him for a while but then it nodded. It seemed like it couldn't resist it. A child who asked him to show him do his trick...

With a flick of a hand the spirit opened the box. Sam had to fight the resist to run to Dean. He had to play this game, he had to finish this.

"Dean?" Sam heard John say. He did not hear a response. Shaking furiously Sam kept his eyes on the clown when John took Dean out of the box. He did not turn to look. This would be the end.

"This is a really hard trick, no one should never try it at home", the spirit explained, getting into the box, suddenly as if he had forgotten he was dead at all. "Now, be a good boy and close the box for me, okay? And make sure there are no holes."

"Oh, I will, trust me", Sam said when he closed the box. As soon as he was sure the box was closed, he took a bag of salt he had taken with him and made a circle around the box. Once the circle was complete he emptied the rest on the top of the box. He hear the spirit screamig, heard him yell all kinds of curses. That didn't help him though, the box caught up in fire and in few seconds there was nothing left of it.

"Dean?"

Sam shook his head and turned to look at his brother when he heard his Dad's fearfilled voice. Dean had not woken up and he was far too pale to Sam's liking. No. No, no, no, this was not happening, Dean had not been there that long, he could not have! This was a nightmare, it had all been a nightmare...

"Dad...?" Maybe, just maybe, that one word was the sweetiest thing Sam had ever heard. "Sammy...?" No, he had been wrong, that one was. Falling on his knees, Sam did not care how chicky flicky it might had been. As soon as Dean was sitting up he threw his arms around the older boy's neck. "Sammy, for Christ's sake...!"

"Shut up, I saved your life."

--

_"You promise you will never leave me?" _

_"Yes, Sammy. I promise." _

_"And you **promise **nothing will never take us?"_

_"Yes."_

_"And no matter what, you'll always be there?"_

_"Of course, Sammy. You don't ever have to doubt that."_

_"Good... You either."_

--

Dean did not travel on the back seat very often anymore. But now, now he really felt like he should. He and Sam were sitting in the car while John checked out and called someone to pick up his truck so he could drive the Impala.

"Three times."

"Huh?"

"Three times", Sam repeated. "Three times you almost died because of that spirit."

"Yeah, and three times I survived. How did you figure out the box was it's weak spot anyway?" Dean asked.

"It said it itself, that's where it died. And don't try to change the sucject."

"We had a subject?"

"Damn it, Dean!" Sam yelled, frustrated.

"Sammy, I'm here. I did not die, thanks to you! Just... relax, okay?"

Sam just shook his head. Sometimes Dean really pissed him off.

"Hey, ya know. This whole gig would have been so much more fun if the spirit had been one of those hot girls with sparkly, tight, oh man, so tight, costumes. What do they call them again, huh?"

"Dean!"

--

_"I know what're you thinking, Sam. Why'd have to be clowns?"_

_"Give me a break."_

_"You didn't think I'd remember, did you? Oh come, you still bust up crying whenever you see Ronald McDonald on television?"_

_"At least I'm not scared of flying."_

_"Planes crash!"_

_"And apparently, clowns kill."_

**Everybody Loves A Clown**

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THE END

**AN: **Please please please tell me what you think. PLEEASSEEE!!

Lots of Love


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